My heart goes pitter-pat with a mix of both anticipation and dread whenever a classic sci-fi book is optioned. Even when I haven't read the book in question (and believe me, I know I need to read more Robert A. Heinlein), I know the bookshelves of the world are lined with great movie material. But I also know how devastating it is when the studio mangles a beloved book.

And here's one that could go either way. The Hollywood Reporter says that Alex Proyas and Phoenix Pictures have optioned Heinlein's The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag. It's the story of a man who, when asked what he does for a living one evening, realizes he has no memory of any of his daytime activities. He hires a private detective agency, run by a husband and wife team, and their investigation becomes a rather terrifying one. (Having not read this book, I'm trying to skim through descriptions without spoiling it -- but it sounds scary.)

The novella has been one of Proyas' favorites since childhood. "I read this story as a kid, and it really stayed with me. It's part of my creative DNA." (It had to have inspired Dark City.) From what I've gleaned of the story, it's right up his alley -- and he's penning the script, so there will be no wild departures like we saw with I, Robot. And it's about time Heinlein had his name on the big screen again. I know there has to be some Jonathan Hoag fans out there, so chime in with your thoughts.

That's no typo -- in Antony Johnson's graphic novel Julius, the classic William Shakespeare play gets rewritten into modern, Guy Ritchie London where Julius is shot down by Brett, Cassidy, Dennis, Steve, Lee, and Kostas. And according to The Hollywood Reporter, it's just been optioned by Mandalay Pictures.

Julius is the story of a London crime king named Julius, who is worshipped by the public as if he's royalty. His closest fellow gangsters conspire against him and eventually shoot him up. Oops, too late to add a spoiler alert. I imagine that instead of Roman civil war, Julius' death leads to open gang war.

The movie already has its director in F. Gary Gray, and Oni Press, who is becoming ever more omnipotent, will be executive producing via their entertainment shingle, Closed on Mondays.

Oni Press has a five-page preview of the book up for your enjoyment. Reviews praise the dialogue as a mix of Shakespeare and modern British slang, but I can't say that a lot of this shows up in the preview. A "guv'nor" here and there just doesn't sell that to me, and Mark Antony still sounds more like a Shakespearean actor than a London criminal. Perhaps it gets better on page six, but I think I would rather see the real Julius Caesar remade, Master Will's lines intact, by Guy Ritchie or Martin McDonagh. What about you?

Today will be partly cloudy with a chance of kick ass!

The Hobbit: Not long ago Guillermo Del Toro told fans that his next move was to begin work on The Hobbit script very soon. Well guess what? To our complete shock and surprise, the dude actually followed through on all this "writing script nonsense" and -- wait for it -- started working on the script (along with LOTR partners Frank Walsh and Philippa Boyens). YES! And this is, like, the BIGGEST news online today. "NEWSFLASH: Del Toro is on page 12 and he's already introduced 750 new creatures!" I give up ... call me in 12 years when the film is finally complete and ready to hit theaters.

The Dark Knight: You've watched the movie countless times, followed hundreds of viral sites, read thousands of stories on Heath Ledger and why he deserves to square off against Jesus up in heaven for a chance to be God's new (and much more well-liked) son -- so, what's left? Well, if you still haven't overdosed on The Dark Knight and/or are in desperate need of another Batman fix, feel free to feast your eyes on the film's script. Yes, JoBlo managed to snag a copy of the entire thing (read it here) for you to save, print out and do whatever it is you freaks do with stuff like that. Personally, I enjoyed reading it to see where they trimmed and cut and called Wonder Woman a whore. Kidding! Just wanna make sure you're paying attention.

Poltergeist remake: Because in this one she's watching a reality show, gets pulled into the television and subsequently bores herself to death. [Writes down notes for Poltergeist 2 pitch ...] Anyway, THR tells us that Boogeyman writers Juliet Snowden and Stiles "I wonder how many Teen Wolf jokes he got growing up" White will pen the script for the remake of this classic spooky flick. "Too soon!" yelled a nobody movie blogger, but alas it was too late.

Tom Cruise has decided it's his turn to get in on the comic book action -- and he's teaming up with Sam Raimi to do it. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the duo is setting up the DC/Wildstorm comic series Sleeper at Warner Bros. At this point, Raimi is only producing, but Cruise is hoping to star.

Penned by Ed Brubaker, Sleeper was a 12-issue series set in the Wildstorm universe, which means it steers clear of all those heroic crossovers. (It actually involves a villain created by Alan Moore, though, which should be a terrific selling point.) It centers on Holden Carver, a man who was fused with an alien artifact that makes him impervious to pain, and allows him to pass that torment onto whoever he touches. Being a sensitive sort, Carver wants to get rid of his powers -- but tough luck, he's working undercover in the Tao criminal organization. There's a Departed-like twist that leaves Carver stranded within the organization -- but he falls in love with one member, Miss Misery, while befriending another, the cuddly Genocide Jones. All the while he's torn between the work he's doing, his powers, and his relationships with unsavory people.

Sleeper has been embroiled in complicated rights issues, having been set up at several different studios over the years. Warner Bros, post-Watchmen lawsuit, is being extra careful to make everything black and white this time -- and Cruise's interest has already spurred the detangling process. (Which is kind of funny, if you remember the rumors that he was in the running to play Oxymandias -- and Adrian's fascination with how Alexander the Great undid a complicated knot. Wheels within wheels!)

I know there's some Sleeper fans out there -- it's one of those quiet, but well received books that never get enough attention. How do you feel about Cruise playing the lead?

Things rarely go smoothly for costumed adventurers -- and the courtroom, it seems, is no exception. Nikke Finke reports that a federal judge has denied to dismiss 20th Century Fox's legal claim on Watchmen. You may remember that they filed a lawsuit back in February claiming that their rights to the DC property still held. They seek an injunction to prevent Warner Bros' adaptation of Watchmen from being released at all.
And at this point, that federal judge agrees with them.

Warner Bros, obviously, cries foul. They point out that several studios have tried to develop the property for years, with Fox saying nary a word, and passed up the chance to properly reacquire the rights some time back. Their view of the lawsuit is that it's just an opportunistic grab on a movie that has been gaining more and more buzz. You can read the whole legal chronology over on Deadline Hollywood (Finke's done a top-notch job of documenting the ins and outs) and see which side you come down on. It's exhausting -- isn't this what studios have lawyers for? To avoid this kind of last-minute litigation lunacy?

It's unlikely that the movie will really be delayed -- but it is possible that Warner Bros. will have to hand Fox a substantial chunk of change in order to release the film, as they had to do for Dukes of Hazzard some years back. As one of Finke's readers noted, suddenly the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince schedule shift makes a lot more sense. The studio's 2009 budget could be pretty tight.

Watchmen opens (hopefully) March 6th, 2009.

I am starting to see a new pattern emerging in the latest graphic novel grabs -- monsters and the teams who hunt or protect them. That's a trend I can get behind (as opposed to the superhero deconstruction -- leave that to the masters). The latest according to Variety is Jerry Carr and Allan Gross' graphic novels Cryptozoo Crew, which has been purchased by Alcon Entertainment. No director has been named yet, but Joe Gazzam has already penned the script.

The Cryptozoo Crew is a secret organization devoted to protecting the identity of strange and rare creatures called the Cryptids. They aren't as strange as you might think, because they're often things like the Loch Ness Monster, Yetis, and El Chupacabra. (Maybe the Montauk Monster can pop up at some point -- have they figured out what that thing is yet?)

The series centers around married crew members Tork and Tara Darwyn -- funnily, press releases are focusing on how beautiful Tara is, whereas I find Tork to be equally pleasing to the eye. They bicker about their relationship while pursing mythical creatures, thus making it the most realistic monster series yet. You can check out previews of the first two graphic novels on the official Cryptozoo website. The series seems like it is a lot of fun, with a good dose of humor. It could be a nice summer flick. Frankly, I can't wait who see who they cast as the muscle bound Tork.

Here's a few Vegas-themed Monday nibblets:

• All the way back in 2006, there was news that New Line had grabbed Burt Dickenson: The Most Powerful Magician on Planet Earth. Set in Vegas, the comedy was said to focus on rival magicians and how one of the magic men's partners dies, leaving his ex to "find a way to rediscover his love for magic." Well, it's not quite ready for the camera yet, and The Hollywood Reporter posts that Freaks and Geeks and Bones actor John Francis Daley is going to whip up a rewrite with Jonathan Goldstein. Now the plot is being described as the tale of "a big-time Las Vegas illusionist whose preeminence is threatened by a younger 'extreme magician.'" Whatever the film ends up being, hopefully it won't take another 2 years to get a step further. And hopefully it will be better than The Illusionist.
  
• Meanwhile, Variety reports that a feature on the first desegregated hotel and casino in Vegas, the Moulin Rouge, is in development. Titled The Fabulous Moulin Rouge, and penned by Milosz Feigin, the film will center on "a fictional African-American character who rises from mob debt collector to manager of the Moulin Rouge." It should be a pretty interesting production. A replica of the 1955 casino is getting built in Dubai, where the film will be shot late next year, and the casino itself might have attracted performers like Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra, but closed a mere 6 months after opening.
  

If you were a young whippersnapper in 1992, chances are the Goosebumps books were a lurid staple on your bedside table. My sister was an enormous fan, whereas I preferred, shockingly, Star Wars novelizations and sword-and-sorcery. I was just a little too old for their goofy twist endings -- although the single one I read gave me nightmares, I think because a dog was killed or something. (Let's ascribe it to a fragment of underdone potato, shall we?) In retrospect, you really are what you read as a kid -- my sister went on to a lifelong love of Stephen King and Edgar Allen Poe, whereas I memorized Beowulf.

Well, now they will get to terrorize and influence even more children, because Goosebumps is coming to the big screen. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Columbia bought the rights to R.L. Stine's endless series in May, and has now hired Larry Karaszewski and Scott Alexander to pen a script. Columbia is hoping to turn it into a franchise -- and since there are 62(!) books currently lining bookshelves round the world, they will have plenty of material to choose from. It's not clear which book they will adapt first, or if the film will be a hodgepodge of several. At this time, no director is attached, though producer Neal Moritz already has an eye for casting. He wants unknown children, and well-known adult actors in supporting roles.

Many of the books are homages to classic horror films, like Night of the Living Dead and Invasion of the Body Snatchers. If the books inspired a love of horror literature in my sister, perhaps the films will create a whole new generation of Scott Weinbergs. I know there's probably a number of Goosebumps readers out there so share your fond memories, nightmares and I-hope-they-film-this-one thoughts below ....

A few news bites for the end of the week:

• Gregory Smith, who played one of the Stantons in The Seeker: The Dark is Rising, has picked up a starring gig, according to Variety. He will lead the indie drama In My Pocket, which will be the directorial debut of David Lisle Johnson III from a script he co-wrote with Joseph Ferrugio. The film will follow the travails of addiction and focus on two young men -- one is the good guy set for med school who fails out because of his addiction, while the other is a guitarist for a rock band who gets replaced. And for you Empire Records fans out there, Brendan Sexton III (Warren) also has a role.
• Meanwhile... Kenneth Lonergan, scribe of Analyze That and Gangs of New York, is getting ready for a celebration. The Hollywood Reporter posts that he has signed on to pen the screenplay for Father's Day -- that flick that Ashton Kutcher is producing. The plan is to make the film "a multigenerational look at fatherhood, centering around a father and son who have never gotten along but who coincidentally have baby sons at the same time." It's certainly not the most original premise out there, but we'll see if this can become this generation's Parenthood.

Over the last few years, Italian director Gabriele Muccino has been busy with superstar Will Smith. He helmed The Pursuit of Happyness, and just wrapped up Seven Pounds. Now The Hollywood Reporter posts that he's cooking up a Kramer vs. Kramer style film that may or may not involve Smith's production company, Overbrook.

The project, titled What I Know About Love, is being written by Muccino along with the writer of Sex and the City, Liz Tuccillo. The director says: "It's the story of a family's collapse, but with the complexity that relationships have today. It's a different world now, one that I think is more open and more destructive somehow."

Considering the fact that Smith has starred in both of Muccino's recent films, I imagine that there's a decent chance that this film could be led by the ol' Fresh Prince as well. Smith brings the butts to the seats. Whatever happens, this should keep the filmmaker busy for a while with familial issues. He's also got an immigrant film called Man & Wife in the works.

As far as hustling movie producer archetypes go, I tend to prefer Joel Silver over Harvey Weinstein. Sure, Weinstein played a role in some of the great American independent films from the last decade of the twentieth century, but Silver's production credits have more spice to them -- The Matrix, Predator, 48 Hrs. -- hinting at the zany force behind their existence. The movies he has produced don't always please everyone (consider those last two Matrix movies), and sometimes his productions run into unforeseeable setbacks (Joss Whedon's troublesome Wonder Woman script). But now, Silver's trying a radical maneuver that reaffirms his maverick abilities: He's shopping around Guy Ritchie's RocknRolla, which tells the story of a drama surrounding a stolen painting and stars Gerard Butler, to other studios despite the plan to release it through Warner Bros. in October.

According to Patrick Goldstein in The Los Angeles Times, Silver said he showed the movie to Lionsgate and Sony Pictures to get some advice on how to market the film. However, when Goldstein asked Warner Bros.' top executive Alan Horn about the situation, Horn called the movie "very English," not "broadly commercial," and said the studio "might not be willing to spend the marketing money he wants us to." So it follows that Silver probably wants to sell the movie to somebody else.

This kind of thing has happened before. Jonathan Levine's teen horror flick All the Boys Love Mandy Lane was set for a release through The Weinstein Company, but when it was determined that the distributor might not provide the best home for the film, it went to the more agreeable Senator Films (although Senator has yet to release it). What troubles me is Horn's assertion that RocknRolla is "very English." Yeah ... so?

Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time is one of those sprawling, elaborate fantasy book series that is only read by enormous dorks. In other words, people like me. Yes, I've read all 11 novels (plus the prequel novella) and nearly 10,000 pages. Many fans abandoned the series after book 5 or 6, when it became apparent that the plot was in a holding pattern while the number of notable characters approached three digits. Not me. The naysayers were right, to a point, but the world Jordan created was so rich, so interesting that I simply loved going back, even if nothing much was happening. Jordan swore that book 12 would be the last, but died before he could finish it; another fantasy writer has been tapped to complete it from Jordan's extensive notes.

The series has been optioned several times, with an eye toward movies or television miniseries. Nothing ever came of it -- the books are so long, the plots so intricate, the cast of characters so enormous, that each attempt hit a logistical wall. Now, Universal has staked a claim, shelling out seven figures for the rights to the series. Logically, they plan to start with the first book, The Eye of the World.

Good luck. It's hard for fans to get excited for something like this, because what we love about the series -- the vastness and incredible detail of the world Jordan creates -- is so unlikely to make it to the screen. I do hope to actually see a film adaptation at some point (I'm awfully curious to see what they'll do), but I have a feeling this might go the way of the previous attempts. If they're hoping for a Lord of the Rings-caliber franchise, the pressure will be on the eventual screenwriter to adapt the novels in a compelling and accessible way. Trust me: it'll be really, really hard.

Lionsgate is very eager to get their remake of Conan the Barbarian up and shooting. How can they not be? At this point, Conan spin-offs Thulsa Doom and Red Sonja are neatly beating it in the pre-production department (Red Sonja already has a star, a director, and merchandise already!), and both were green-lit after Conan. A sad state of affairs for the Cimmerian, indeed.

But it looks like things are moving again. According to The Hollywood Reporter, they've has hired Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain to rework the script. They seem a pretty good fit for the pulpy source, being fresh off Outlander (which McCain also directed) and Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans. They're still looking for a director, but would anyone be surprised if they decided on McCain?

They're replacing Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer, who wrote several drafts, apparently none of which was to the studio's liking. The CEO of Paradox Entertainment, Fredrik Malmberg, is aiming to stick close to the source material. He'd also like to become a franchise. (Is that a surprise to anyone? Thought not.) "There's no reason there couldn't be a Conan movie every two years. He's almost like Batman: He's a dark hero. He's a hard hero. He has to be badass, but we also have to like him."

Lionsgate is also looking to restart another long-delayed swords-and-loincloths project -- McCain and Blackman's Amazon, to which Scarlett Johansson has long been attached, has landed in the studio's loving hands. They're looking for a director for that, too. It wasn't that long ago that I wished for a resurgence of swords and sorcery -- and I'm getting it. It's going to be glorious! Chainmail bikinis and dudes with eight-packs, all worthy of being painted on the side of your van. Welcome back, 1980!

In all the ComicCon insanity, a pretty cool story slipped under the Cinematical radar -- the news that Pixar had teamed up with Boom! Studios to create comic books and graphic novels based on the Disney/Pixar and Muppet properties. If that doesn't sound exciting to you, get a load of this -- the first series that will be published will be The Incredibles.

The series is confirmed for four issues, but author Mark Waid already has scripts penned for two more, and is hoping the series can continue beyond that. In an interview with MTV, Waid revealed that the storyline just about takes up where the movie left off. The characters aren't any older, and are still dealing with the insecurities and difficulties faced by a family of superheroes.

The four issue arc will center on Mr. Incredible, who starts suffering from heroic impotence. His powers are fading, and he doesn't want to tell his family or go to a doctor. Relgated to house husband status, "He feels terrible," Waid said. "He's calling them on the phone when they're on missions, to give them advice, but what he really needs to do is get his powers back." The Incredibles universe will be further fleshed out, introducing a doctor who practices superhero medicine.

The series will appear on store shelves in April, with other Pixar titles to follow. It sounds like Toy Story is the next in line, and the plan is to have six titles in rotation. None of the books, will deviate too far from the movie path in order not to interfere with possible sequels. And who knows -- we may just see The Incredibles go from the page to the screen for their second outing!

A two-time Academy Award-winning actress may star in a romantic comedy adapted from a weight control book. Hilary Swank's producion company has acquired the rights to the 2004 bestseller French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure, and is developing the project as a possible starring vehicle for her, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

As its title intimates, Mireille Guiliano's book focuses more on lifestyle and state of mind than lists, tables and charts, though she includes dozens of recipes. Guiliano, a successful executive in the champagne business, also related her own personal story about gaining and losing weight. The book became an international bestseller and was translated into more than 40 languages.

The film version's heroine will be a "girl-next-door champagne company middle manager who learns some tough life lessons which help her become the woman she's always wanted to be." Will the heroine be French, or will she learn from a Frenchwoman? Heather Hach (Freaky Friday remake, TV show Legally Blonde: The Musical) has been hired to write the script.

Swank first stepped into a production role with the ensemble film 11:14 in 2003. She was executive producer for Freedom Writers and is serving in that capacity for the upcoming biopic Amelia, in which she stars as the famous flyer Amelia Earthart. Previously she was said to be starring in vampire drama Fangland and a remake of the 2003 French film Labyrinth.